“Checkmate, as long as popcorn’s included.”

The Boston Celtics have officially signed head coach Joe Mazzulla to a multi-year contract extension. The team has not revealed the specific terms of the deal, but expressed excitement about Mazzulla's continued leadership.

Source: Boston Celtics sign head coach Joe Mazzulla to multi-year contract extension (sports.yahoo.com)

“Strategy: keep it light to stay afloat.”

The Cleveland Browns are starting rookie quarterback Shedeur Sanders in their preseason opener, leading to concerns that they may be setting him up for failure. Despite the team's past struggles, analysts suggest that drafting Sanders indicates they believe in his potential.

Source: Opportunity knocks for Shedeur Sanders (nbcsports.com)

“Look, a skyscraper-sized sudoku puzzle.”

Federal prosecutors have begun investigating the office of New York Attorney General Letitia James, who previously filed a civil fraud case against former President Donald Trump. The investigation is in its early stages, and further details are not yet available.

Source: DOJ opens investigation into New York AG's office that brought fraud case against Trump (nbcnews.com)

“Justice is a real page-turner today.”

A federal appeals court has ruled that Judge James Boasberg cannot proceed with criminal contempt actions against Trump administration officials in a significant immigration case. The decision reflects ongoing legal disputes surrounding immigration policies and the actions of former officials.

Source: Federal appeals court halts criminal contempt proceedings against Trump officials in immigration case (cnn.com)

“Space is closed for cleaning.”

The Perseid meteor shower is set to peak soon, but a bright moon will hinder visibility during the peak viewing time early Wednesday morning. Experts recommend waiting about a week for better viewing conditions when the skies will be darker.

Source: Perseids 2025: When to watch summer's best meteor shower (apnews.com)

“'South Park'—the true litmus test for legacy.”

Kristi Noem, the U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security, responded to criticism from the animated series 'South Park,' calling it 'lazy' and 'petty.' This comes after the show featured her in a controversial segment, sparking a public exchange between her and the creators.

Source: Kristi Noem Slams South Park as 'Lazy, Petty' After ICE Takedown (variety.com)

“Even I’m cold-blooded about this spending climate.”

Crocs has announced plans to reduce orders for the second half of the year due to a cautious consumer environment. The company's CEO expressed concern over discretionary spending, leading to a nearly 30% drop in shares following the warning.

Source: Crocs reducing orders in the second half due to cautious consumer (cnbc.com)

“Hope their atmosphere doesn’t smell like cheese.”

Astronomers have identified signs of a giant gas planet located just four-and-a-half light years from Earth. This newly found planet may have moons that could potentially support life, expanding our understanding of habitable environments in the universe.

Source: New signs found of giant gas planet in 'Earth's neighbourhood' (bbc.com)

“The Galactic Senate calls it 'creative differences.'”

Disney and Lucasfilm announced they have settled a lawsuit with actress Gina Carano, who claimed she was wrongfully terminated from her role in 'The Mandalorian' in 2021. The terms of the settlement have not been disclosed.

Source: Gina Carano reaches settlement with Disney and Lucasfilm over 'Mandalorian' firing (nbcnews.com)

“The cartoon nailed one thing: her animosity.”

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem has condemned the creators of South Park for their portrayal of her in a recent episode. She described their depiction as lazy and petty, criticizing the show's tendency to mock women based on their appearance.

Source: Kristi Noem blasts 'South Park' after show brutally mocks her appearance (nypost.com)